Thursday, December 29, 2011

Back To The Start

I love this song, and this band <3

I'm really going to try to post more often, I've just been supppper busy with homework and family and I just got a second job yesterday =]

Monday, November 28, 2011


If I was the last person on this planet, and I could only have one person there with me, it would be you <3

This is my sister Mary, the greatest person I know. We have the best times together, we're always laughing and making the dumbest jokes, and I thank God for her everyday. I know most people don't really get along very well with their siblings, but quite honestly she is my absolute best friend and I wouldn't have made it through life without her =] I love you Mary, I hope you read this :D


Wednesday, November 9, 2011


Are some things unforgiveable?

I love you so much, and you ARE sorry.

And I know for all the times you've hurt me, there were times when I hurt you as well.

So it is kind of hypocritical for me not to forgive this.

When you love someone, you accept them, flaws and all.

I forgive you.


Sunday, October 30, 2011


This is a video about abortion, which I know is a super contraversial topic, but this video has changed a lot of people's minds and made me think of things in a completely different light. Even if you're completely pro-choice you may find this interesting. I am personally a die hard pro-life person, but I'm definitely not trying to force my beliefs on anyone <3


Saturday, October 29, 2011


One of my all time favorite bands, the Cranberries. This is their famous song Zombie which had such an interesting and beautiful video to it I thought I would post it. Enjoy!

Friday, October 28, 2011

Movie Night!

So since I'm spending my Friday night alone in my pajamas I've decided to have a movie night. So I'm going to share with you guys a list some of my top movies just for fun :)

The Man in the Iron Mask

10 Things I Hate About You
Little Miss Sunshine
Dan In Real Life
Pink Floyd: The Wall
Away We Go
Music and Lyrics
What's Eating Gilbert Grape
Edward Scissorhands
Phantom of the Opera
Some Kind of Wonderful
The Breakfast Club
Akeelah and the Bee
Run Lola Run
Almost Famous

Wednesday, October 26, 2011


My favorite contemporary band, right here <3 This song is off their new album which just came out August 16th.


Tuesday, October 25, 2011

New Haircut.

I got a new haircut last week, and I'm suprisingly pleased with it.. Here's the picture I gave to the hair stylist...

And here's my hair..

Slightly different, mostly cause my hair is not quite as thick and long, but I love the cut =]


Sunday, October 23, 2011


This is such an incredibly beautiful performance of this song... <3
I'm sure Lady Gaga has her own special meaning to this song, but when I listen to it I can think of my own meaning to it as well.I relate to this very well. Thank you Lady Gaga, for singing what I can't express in words.


Friday, October 21, 2011

My Window.

The world is different
From the view of a window.
The rain is less harsh
And the cold less bitter.
But the mind should know
That a window is only a wall,
And outside that wall,
The world is not afraid to tear you apart.
You're safer in the window of your heart and mind.
Nothing can touch you there,
You're safe,
Except from yourself.


Monday, October 17, 2011

Always There

God, it's the most beautiful day
Everything radiates Your love

The wind, trees, sunlight, and sky

Have never been quite so alive.

And I know all I do is doubt

That what I believe really exists

But it's days like this

When You surround me

With the glory of the earth.

When I think, how could I be so blind

Not to see your love enveloping me?

You're always there

The clouds and the pain just hide You from my view sometimes.


Thursday, October 13, 2011

Happiness Is the Best Revenge

You know those days where everything is just absolutely incredibly perfect?

Yeah, that was my day today <3

I've missed being happy.


I might not be updating in the next few days because I have 11 hours of show choir rehearsal this weekend D: But I'll try my best.

Oh, and I'm going to start up my story blog :)


Thursday, October 6, 2011

Story Blog..?

Soo, I'm thinking about making a story blog as well. Just as another writing outlet for myself. The thing is, I'm SO busy with homework, colleges, SAT's, and choir.. So I might not update it as much as I would like to, but I'll try my best <3 I just need something really fun in my life :)

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Picking Up the Pieces

Sometimes, when upset the best thing to do is fill life with distractions.

I feel like that's all my life has been lately.

SAT's, applying to colleges, AP classes, show choir, therapy, artwork, singing, taking walks...

I'm so used to having you fill up my life I don't know what to do with myself anymore.

But I'm getting there.

Slowly, I've been filling up this empty hole in my heart that was you with hard work, imagination, prayer, and the people I love who wouldn't ever leave me. In my mind I feel like every time I accomplish something without you I'm picking up a small piece of my heart that you took a baseball bat to this summer.

Maybe it's true.. I really don't need you like I thought I did.

Yes, I miss you.

Yes, I love you more than I ever thought possible.

But that's not enough.

You didn't stay with me like you promised to so many times, you left, when things got tough.

That's life :)

I'm not perfect, but I will be a better person now than I ever was with you.

So thank you for the lessons you taught me the past few years.

I won't ever make a mistake like that again.



Monday, September 26, 2011


This is just a really quick post. I wanted to show you guys a picture of the art project I'm working on at the moment...

It's a collage about depression. I hope you like it :)

Friday, September 9, 2011

Justin Furstenfield :)

Justin Furstenfield is the lead singer of my favorite contemporary rock band, Blue October. They have a really amazing, beautiful and original sound and if you've never listened to them I highly recommend them. Justin has always inspired me because he uses his hardships in his life for his work and channels them into this positive activity. Blue October's albums show his fury, frustration, depression, and bi polar disorder.

If you listen to their songs, each of them tells a different story. It's incredible <3 Their newest album came out on August 16th, and it's called Any Man in America. The songs are mostly about Justin's ex wife and his young daughter. If you've never listened to it, do it.

Other really good albums by them include:

  • Approaching Normal

  • Foiled

  • The Anwsers (Their first album)

  • Consent To Treatment

  • History For Sale

Check them out!


Wednesday, August 31, 2011

The Getting Over It Part.

I haven't posted in almost a month, and I've really missed it. School has just been super crazy lately and I haven't had a second to post anything.

Life has been interesting. I'm single for the first time in almost two years, and I really don't know how I feel about it. On one hand, it's really nice to be able to talk and flirt with whoever I want, but honestly, I miss having one person in my life who calls me beautiful and is always there for me. Now I have to actually get my act together and find new people to hang out with. I still have my best friends, and friends from choir, but losing someone you were that close to for the past two years has been very hard. Please pray for me <3

On a happier note, my senior year has been amazing so far, and I'm really looking forward to homecoming in the next two weeks! :) I'm bringing my best friend Christen, since I've had enough of boys.


Sunday, August 14, 2011

Lonely Trains

This is a poem I wrote a couple years ago that I just found in my room the other day. It's kind of stupid, but I thought I'd post it anyway.

Lonely Trains

Lonely trains, they're rolling
Along the dingy, darkened track
A shriek arises from them
In my heart I know they're never coming back.

For like the lonely heart they wail
For their broken loves they sing
This world is one universal pain
And our cries are one syncronized ring.

The racing rivers and channeling streams
It's like they float along our dreams
And the smoke that arises from the brick stack
Is a lost love now gone, and never coming back.


Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Edge Of Seventeen

I can't believe it... Today is my 17th birthday.

I feel soo incredibly old.. For me, this isn't just a birthday, it's the start of my last year of childhood.
I don't want to grow up. =[


Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Dear Dad,

I honestly don't know what I would do without you.

You're my life raft when I'm drowning in the ocean. I would not have made it through the last few months without you. You're the only man I truly need in my life<3

I love you so much.

Even if I don't always show it.

Even if I get angry with you.

Even if I act ungrateful.

Even if I'm distant.

Even if we aren't speaking.

You're my hero, and I admire you soo much. If I don't accomplish anything else in my life, I just hope I can say at the end of it that I was like you. That I was honest, caring, genius, happy, spiritual, and the best person I possibly could have been.

I hope you read this Dad, because I'm sure you don't hear words like this very often.


Wednesday, July 27, 2011


Everyone has them.

Habits or addictions that attack at your weakest time and take you over.
Drugs, sex, porn, hate, abuse, depression.
That last one is my monster.
I can't seem to escape it.
This looming cloud that's gaining on me now matter how fast I run.

No matter what I do, how happy I seem.. It's always there.

Personally, I think once we have this thing looming over us for long enough, it becomes part of us. We become a monster.

I don't know where I am right now.. I feel consumed. Like I have become the monster.

All I can do is pray, laugh, ask for it all to go away. It might not work, but it's all I have.

And the worst part is, I don't know who to talk to about it. I don't know who can help me.

The one person I thought I had to save me from it is now gone. I mean nothing to him anymore.

Anyone who's reading this, please pray for me. Pray for anyone who suffers with deppression. For anyone who feels like they have to hurt themselves to feel better or to punish themselves.

I think we could really use some prayers.


Tuesday, July 26, 2011

15 Albums

These are 15 of my all time favorite albums <3

The Wall - Pink Floyd

Everybody Else Is Doing It So Why Can't I? - The Cranberries

The Anwsers- Blue October

Powerslave- Iron Maiden

The White Album- The Beatles

Consent To Treatment - Blue October

Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd

Fire Of Unknown Origin - Blue Oyster Cult

Genesis - Genesis

Indigo Girls- Indigo Girls

Point Of Know Return- Kansas

The Fame Monster- Lady Gaga

The Final Cut- Pink Floyd

Bella Donna - Stevie Nicks

Rumours - Fleetwood Mac


Thursday, July 21, 2011

You're The Inspiration.

This is for someone who has been in my life for a long time, and I have just now learned to appriciate him and love him for what he deserves..<3

Thank you for waiting all this time for me.

Thank you for always being there, even when I haven't been there for you.

Thank you for loving me.

Thank you for accepting me, and all of me.

Thank you for picking me up when I was down.

Thank you for making me forget all the screwed up things in life.

Thank you for not leaving, even when you found out the bad things about me.

Thank you for making every day a good day.

Thank you for all of the smiles and laughs.

Thank you for being absolutely incredible.

Thank you for inspiring me to be better <3


Monday, July 18, 2011

A Break From Reality

I just spent my weekend at a Roman Catholic college in Ohio called Steubenille. This is the college I want to spend the four years with after I graduate. They have a Catholic youth conference every year, and this has been my third year going.

Every year I have an absolutely INCREDIBLE time. It's such a spiritual experience, and being there with 3,000 other teens who believe the same thing I do is just amazing. This year I also brought my cousins for the first time, which was a blast. I didn't think they would enjoy themselves, and they ended up having more fun than anyone there :)

For me, the greatest part of the entire weekend would have to be the adoration on Saturday night. For anyone who doesn't know what adoration is, it's been we have the bread that we believe to be Jesus out there on the altar to pray to, and at one point the priest carries him around so we can all see him. They also play a lot of music during this time, so I pretty much sang the whole time. Now usually this adoration is a very emotional experience for me. I usually end up crying for about four straight hours during it. This year I didn't really have that.. At one point I asked God to let me cry, because I actually really like the cleansing feeling I get after for crying for so long. When I prayed for this, all of a sudden, I got this sense of peace, and I heard this voice in my head saying,

"Kristen, you've cried too much in the past two months. You have suffered so much, and it hurts me to see you cry."

It was SO cool. After I heard that, I became more happy than I've ever been in my entire life. I even started to laugh.. It was extremely strange, but it really showed me how cool a spiritual experience can be.

For you guys who think I'm absolutely insane, I understand. I used to think this stuff was pretty weird too :P But if you have never experienced it, don't judge me. You just have to see it for yourselves.


Sunday, July 10, 2011


No matter how bad things seem, they can always get worse.

Everybody goes through really hard times, whether it's breakups, death, divorce, or maybe just a bad fight with someone.. And I know at least for me, it seems like the world is ending and things couldn't possibly get any worse. But that's not true. Sometimes you just need to distract yourself.. Find a new hobby, pray, be with the people you love <3 Just don't give up.

Things can always get worse, and you know what?

They will get better :)

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

True Beauty

This blog post is to all of you girls who only see flaws.

This is to all of you girls who only see imperfection.

I have news for you.

You are absolutely stunning and beautiful in every way.

Our imperfections make us who we really are, and we should embrace them. I mean, I'm not going to lie, I hate how I look sometimes.. There are times when I think I could stand to lose some weight, or have a different nose, or hair. We all have those thoughts. But it's what we do about them that counts.

Anorexia runs in my family.. and quite honestly it makes me sick.. Watching someone you love die day by day must be horrendous. I can barely imagine it. Stay strong girls, appriciate the gorgeous person you are, and don't let society tell you what is or isn't beautiful. Personally, I think most of the plus sized models you see in stores are twice as beautiful as the bony little models. My grandpa always told me that no one likes to hug a bag of bones, and that is so true :)

Accept your imperfections. No one is perfect, and it's our flaws that truly make us beautiful.


Monday, July 4, 2011


I never knew it would come to this
After all this time of pure happiness
I've taken what's precious, what's sacred and true
I've taken it all and ruined you.

You were always there, you could never leave
Until I gave you more than you could recieve
Now everyday for me is guilt and regret
And I don't think you've realized it quite yet.

If I could take back everything I've ever done
And truly show you that I am the one
It would be done in a second,a heartbeat
But all my efforts are now ending in defeat.

Time and patience is all you ask of me
But I never thought I would see
That the fault was mine, and mine alone
And my heart has all this time been made of stone.

Happiness is what you need
And I know with time you will succeed
You'll find everything you ever dreamed
Even if it isn't the ending it seemed.

If you ever read this, I know that you'll know it was meant for you.

I hate myself for doing this to you.


My Happy Songs :)

So as anyone who has read this has noticed, I've kind of been going through a rough time right now, and it's been pretty hard to deal with. So what I do when I feel this way is sing. That's pretty much the only thing that completely distracts me and puts me in a different mindset (besides praying)So here's a list of the songs that I've been singing lately..

Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond
Beth - KISS
Angels - Owl City
Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd
Hallelujah - The Canadian Tenors
Pretty - The Cranberries
Closer To Fine - Indigo Girls
Tantra - Journey
Running Up That Hill - Placebo
Brain Damage - Pink Floyd
Piece Of My Heart - Janis Joplin
Faithfully - Journey
Heart Of The Ocean - Gaelic Storm
The Tale of the Lighthouse - Nickel Creek
When You Say Nothing At All - Allison Krausse
Nobody Home - Pink Floyd
Kid Fears - Indigo Girls



Saturday, July 2, 2011

Work Camp 2011

So the reason I haven't posted this week at all is because...
I just got home from the most beautiful experience in my life.. It was a work camp hosted by the Catholic diocese of Arlington, and it made me see everything in an entirely new light. We got there last Saturday, met our crew of workers on Sunday, and then my crew and I worked the entire week until today on a woman's wheelchair ramp.

Our resident was SO grateful for us being there, and even though we were dirty, hungry, and constantly tired, it was worth it to hear her tear up and thank us for everything we did for her. I honestly believe she did more for me than I did for her.

When we get caught up in our own lives, we sometimes don't realize how lucky we really are.. I got away from my own selfish problems and issues and completely focused on God and other people who were less fortunate than I am. This is something I am not used to doing, I only do it about once a year, but I wish I could get everyone I know to experience it for themselves. It really does change your life, for the better.

When I got home today, I realized something. I had lost one of the most important things that I ever had. I freaked out about it at first, but then saw that the past week has really, really taught me something. God is always there for me. Now matter how upset I get, if my heart breaks, or if everything comes crashing down on me in my life. I also have my family and some INCREDIBLE friends who will always be there for me no matter what. Things are bad now, but you guys will pull me out and everything will turn out completely ok. I love you all so much, thank you for everything.

For those of you who believe in a higher power, please pray for me. I will return the favor.


Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Growing Up.

So, I just reached the end of my junior year. Quite honestly, I can't believe I'm a senior now. It seems like such a big leap from 11th to 12th grade. This is it. The last year of highschool.
I still remember walking into that school my 1st day of eighth grade four years ago, and how much of a nightmare it was. Every year it kept improving, and now I can't even imagine leaving :/ It's exciting, but at the same time terrifying. This is supposed to be the best year of them all, and you have to make it count. Then it's out into college and adulthood and life.

I don't even know what I want to do with my life at this point, and I feel like since a year from now I'll be out of highschool, that I should know. Or at least have an inkling of an idea, you know?

Here are some things I've considered...



-Coffee Shop Owner


But honestly, I really don't know what I want. I do know that I want to get married very, very badly.

So this next year is really going to be crazy. I want to know what my plan is by the end of it. This will be interesting :P


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Thoughtful Child

This is a poem I found today from one of my old blogs. It's one of my favorites and I hope you guys like it =]

My Inner Child

The older I get, the sadder I seem.
I cuddle with my childhood toys, and hold on
This world seems to be developing such a horrible theme
You're only as good as they make you out to be.
The longer I'm around, the more I realize
Sometimes you need to go back, to move ahead
Rediscover your past, your roots, your dreams
Something silent, that needed to be said.
Beauty, radiance, intelligence, life
Don't come with practice, but with heart
Believe, conquer, observe, love, strive
Do everything you can, to keep your heart and soul alive.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011



Something almost everyone goes through and has to deal with. Something that can either be the most traumatic thing ever or no big deal.

Personally, I always thought the way people reacted when they got dumped was overrated..But now I see it for myself.

It feels like someone took my heart and stuck it in a blender.

You know that saying, "You don't know what you got until it's gone?"

Yup. I'm really feeling that saying right now.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

A New Beginning.

For those of you who have read my blogs before, you know that I start a lot and never continue them. Well, that's pretty much how my life has been. I start something and never know where to go with it.

That's going to change. I'm ready for a new beginning. Not just with my blog, but with my life. We can't wipe away what we did in the past, but we can forgive ourselves and move on.

That's just what I'm going to do :)

I hope you enjoy my blog!