Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Monster.



Everyone has them.

Monsters.
Habits or addictions that attack at your weakest time and take you over.
Drugs, sex, porn, hate, abuse, depression.
That last one is my monster.
I can't seem to escape it.
This looming cloud that's gaining on me now matter how fast I run.

No matter what I do, how happy I seem.. It's always there.

Personally, I think once we have this thing looming over us for long enough, it becomes part of us. We become a monster.

I don't know where I am right now.. I feel consumed. Like I have become the monster.

All I can do is pray, laugh, ask for it all to go away. It might not work, but it's all I have.

And the worst part is, I don't know who to talk to about it. I don't know who can help me.

The one person I thought I had to save me from it is now gone. I mean nothing to him anymore.

Anyone who's reading this, please pray for me. Pray for anyone who suffers with deppression. For anyone who feels like they have to hurt themselves to feel better or to punish themselves.

I think we could really use some prayers.


Krose

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Most merciful God please surround this little one with an abundance of grace and compassion. Let the courage that you knew in the hour of your darkness reside also in her heart. Say to her soul, "I am your salvation." Speak Lord, even now she listens, even now she waits upon your Word. Why do you stand far off? Rise up and attend to her heart. Step into her darkness, great King, and bring your consolation. Have you nothing to say, Lord, no words of comfort?

"Stay, dear one, I am already here; not far, but near; near to her pain. Are you listening, little one, do you recognize my voice? Do not let your heart be troubled. In my Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, would I tell you that I go to prepare a place for you? Take my hand and trust me. My peace I give you, my peace I leave with you. Look carefully, dear one, look closely. I am already at hand in the midst of your darkness. Only come to me. Those who share my darkness shall also share my joy. Be patient, only a little while. Here is healing from my Sacred Heart, receive and the renewed."