Sunday, November 18, 2012

My World

I am from a world of self-loathing
One with more anti-depressants than smiles.
I live in a starving nation
Where we drink in the suffering of others. 
The scars on our wrists
Create pictures in the hearts of those we love. 
We convince ourselves that this is living
That our longing to die is acceptable. 
My nation is one of deep darkness
Where life is a used tissue
Crumpled and thrown away without another thought. 
This is the world I live in
Where living is just existing.

Friday, November 2, 2012


Check out my Tumblr... It's a little deeper than my real blog actually.


Thursday, October 25, 2012

Any Human To Another- Countee Cullen

I had to write a rhetorical analysis on this poem, it's quite lovely.

The ills I sorrow at
Not me alone
Like an arrow,
Pierce to the marrow,
Through the fat
And past the bone.

Your grief and mine
Must intertwine
Like sea and river,
Be fused and mingle,
Diverse yet single,
Forever and forever.

Let no man be so proud
And confident,
To think he is allowed
A little tent
Pitched in a meadow
Of sun and shadow
All his little own.

Joy may be shy, unique,
Friendly to a few,
Sorrow never scorned to speak
To any who
Were false or true.

Your very grief
Like a blade
Shining and unsheathed
Must strike me down.
Of bitter aloes wreathed,
My sorrow must be laid
On your head like a crown.


Monday, September 17, 2012


This is my cover of Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen!
I realize the quality is awful :/

Friday, September 14, 2012

What About Love?

Why is it so hard for people to feel loved?

Sometimes I feel like I live in this crazy, starved world, with people selling themselves for nothing, settling for less than they deserve, and giving themselves away. When in reality, the couple who has been together for fifty years and a girl with an abusive boyfriend all wanted the same thing. Love. We were made to love and be loved, every single one us in different ways.
Above all things, I think it is important to stay true to one's self, and to be patient. At least from my own experience, it's so easy to just date or get close to the first person you see, but this can land people in a world of hurt. Not everyone will love you, and you don't need everyone. Just those that respect, love and care about you, and that you feel the same way about.
Don't give up. Love is a real thing, and it will come with time. I have to remind myself of this all the time.
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to love and be loved in return."


Monday, September 3, 2012

Poetry Blog

   It has been a really long time since I posted. I just moved into James Madison University, in my second week of classes, just trying to make friends and keep my head up. Since making close friends has been really tough for me, I've decided to turn back to blogging again to keep my occupied. So in addition to this blog, I have just created a poetry blog if anyone is interested in reading it.

Here's the link:

:) Please check it out and leave feedback, I'd love to hear what you guys think!


Friday, May 25, 2012

Thursday, May 24, 2012


My favorite type of art...
Here are a few of my favorite examples <3


Thursday, May 10, 2012

The Reason

    I'm not perfect. No one is. So why do we all beat ourselves up and feel like we have to be? No matter what, we can't always be the perfect friend, worker, girlfriend/boyfriend, or daughter/son. It's not possible, especially if we are trying to be all of these things at once. It's ok to screw up, trust me, we all do it.
Mistakes make us just as much as our virtues do.
Embrace it.


Friday, May 4, 2012

That's What Makes You Beautiful

  There are sooo many different body types, hair styles, heights, weights, clothing styles.. How can one be more beautiful or right than any other? I don't care whether you are fat, skinny, black, or white, you are absolutely stunning in your own individual way.
   My sister made a comment to me the other day about me "needing to lose a few pounds". That kind of messed me up a little bit. Ever since then I have been working out, eating salads and fruit, and worrying about what others see. But I am at a good healthy weight, I look good in the clothes I wear, and I don't think I'm fat at all. My sister has the mindset that if you aren't barbie doll thin, you need to lose some weight. Skinny people, curvy people, fat people can all be pretty :) Whatever you are, own it. Make it work, cause it's possible. Have you seen Adele? She's stunning, and definitely not a size zero.
So don't ever think for a second that just because you don't look like a model, you're not beautiful :)


Thursday, April 26, 2012

Happiness Is A Warm Gun

You left.
You made me hate myself.
You continue to make me hate myself.
You treat my feelings like they don't exist.
You ignore me.
You ignore the two years we spent together.
You do continuous heart-twisting things that make me want to jump off of a bridge.
You have showed me over and over again, that you don't really love me.
You lied.
You toy with my emotions.
Yet through all of this, I would love nothing more to be yours again.
Someone explain that logic to me, because I don't get it. How can I still love you more than anything. How can I still have dreams about you, every night? How can I still even consider taking you back? After all you have done?

My brain: Don't do this to yourself. You know how this ends.
My heart: This time it will be different, I know it will.
My brain: You're an idiot.
My heart: Maybe my pain is worth it. I couldn't have suffered all of this for nothing...could I?

Yes.  Maybe you did suffer this for nothing.
Hey, for all of you people reading this with a broken heart, listen. Maybe it's time to stop letting other people decide when you are happy. Especially when that person makes you feel worthless.

I sure as hell know that I spend most of my time, especially in the last two years, feeling completely worthless because of someone else. Feeling like I wasn't good enough for anyone or anything. Unfortunately having those feelings stopped me from doing a lot of cool stuff in highschool.

Don't ever let someone make you feel like you aren't strong enough to leave them, and be great without them.

Make your own happiness. Because that's the only way you can ever stay happy; when you stop relying on other people to make you feel that way.


Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Sunday, April 22, 2012


-Wake Up
-Show Choir Rehearsal
-Wake Up

That was my weekend right there. And pretty much my entire senior year now that I think about it. I don't know how I let myself get this busy, but with two jobs, two AP classes, show choir, and homework I just don't have time to do anything. I want just one day where I can honestly say I had nothing to do.
I know most of my friends feel that way this year too, we're seniors and life is just getting ridiculous. Here are some of my positive stress relieviers that I use. .
-Art projects
-Exercise (honestly, this makes me feel so much better about my life)
-Eating healthy
-Bonding with the few people in my life that are actually enjoyable <3

I used to relieve stress in really unhealthy, harmful ways that I won't get into right now, and it really had a nasty affect on my life.
Don't resort to bad habits to help you with your stress, in the end it will only make you feel more stressful and angry about your life.

I love you guys, thanks for reading my blog <3


Saturday, April 21, 2012

Art Projects

These are some art projects I've done this past year. I was in an art class last semester, and know I'm kind of doing an independent study with art. Here's some of my stuff!
This one was made of Arizona Tea cans ^ :)
I'll probably post more once I take more pictures of my artwork, but here's some of my more recent ones :)


Friday, April 20, 2012

Live Through This, And You Won't Look Back.

Amazing video, song, and artist. <3 Check out Stars if you've never heard them before :)


Never Going Back Again

There's a reason that your ex is your ex. This isn't true in every single situation, but most of the time it's better to stay exes. You have your whole life of dating ahead of you. Maybe being stuck in a rut with one guy for too long is really going to damage and break you. Whoever you are, you are so beautiful that settling just isn 't an option for you.
This post is particularly for a few friends of mine, but it does apply to everyone. Take it from someone who knows, going back to someone who left, cheated, made your life hell, or you had a good reason to break up with is always a bad idea. If they've done it once, they sure as hell will do it again.
You are better than that. You always were, and you always will be. Don't. Settle.
I am personally not dating right now at all, but I think the most helpful thing to do in a situation like this is to take a break from dating, to evaluate what you truly want and need, be constructive, and raise your standards. Being single can be the most glorious thing ever, don't look at it as a bad thing.

Monday, April 2, 2012

My New Celebrity Crush.

I don't post stuff like this very often, but this guy is just stunning....

Isn't he lovely?
He's the new character on Glee right now, and I just can't get enough of him <3



I complain a lot. I'm not going to get around that or deny it, it's true. But sometimes I talk to a friend or see a situation so much worse than anything that's going on in my life, and it really gets me to stop and think.
I have so much to be grateful for, so much to live for and so much to be.
That's not something to take for granted.
*both of my amazing parents
*7 healthy siblings
*my education
*the ability to go off to college in the fall
*the best friend I could have ever asked for
*my faith
The list is endless, but these are the things in my life that I am most grateful for.
If you ever find yourself feeling like I do, just remember that there is always something. Always. Even if you can't make a list like this, just think of one thing that is worth living for. One thing.
Since I'm on spring break right now, blogging is hopefully going to happen every day :) I've missed it <3

Wednesday, March 28, 2012


Well, it's been decided. I'm headed off to JMU this fall for the next four years. This past saturday I got to visit the campus, and it was gorgeous. I'm so excited to be done with highschool and almost everyone here and leave! :)

Wednesday, March 14, 2012


I'm back <3
Funnily enough one of my new years resolutions was to blog more, and I haven't blogged once since new years day. Life has been absolutely insanely crazy and I haven't had time to do anything. But this blog is therapy to me, and I've really missed it.
So expect more posts soon.


Sunday, January 1, 2012

New Years Day.

I know New Years resolutions are usually crap; no one ever follows through with them or does anything to change their lives, but I thought it would be fun just to blog about some Iwould really, really like to actually happen.. Not sure if they will, but who knows?

  • Find peace with my religion. (A lot of views and opinions of mine have changed.. and I want to find happiness with the church I go to.)

  • Kill the monster. (Fight the overshadowing depression and anger that I keep inside.)

  • Actually do well in school this semester. (The first half of my senior year completely went to crap.)

  • Obsession (Deal with the conflicting, confusing feelings in my heart dealing with a couple different people.

  • Work. Hard. (I just got my second job, granted it's at a fast food place, but it's a job nonetheless and I want to succeed with it. I start training tomorrow =])

  • Blog more.

  • Figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life.

So that's it. Wish me luck <3 Good luck to all of you guys attempting some resolutions :)