Thursday, April 26, 2012

Happiness Is A Warm Gun

You left.
You made me hate myself.
You continue to make me hate myself.
You treat my feelings like they don't exist.
You ignore me.
You ignore the two years we spent together.
You do continuous heart-twisting things that make me want to jump off of a bridge.
You have showed me over and over again, that you don't really love me.
You lied.
You toy with my emotions.
Yet through all of this, I would love nothing more to be yours again.
Someone explain that logic to me, because I don't get it. How can I still love you more than anything. How can I still have dreams about you, every night? How can I still even consider taking you back? After all you have done?

My brain: Don't do this to yourself. You know how this ends.
My heart: This time it will be different, I know it will.
My brain: You're an idiot.
My heart: Maybe my pain is worth it. I couldn't have suffered all of this for nothing...could I?

Yes.  Maybe you did suffer this for nothing.
Hey, for all of you people reading this with a broken heart, listen. Maybe it's time to stop letting other people decide when you are happy. Especially when that person makes you feel worthless.

I sure as hell know that I spend most of my time, especially in the last two years, feeling completely worthless because of someone else. Feeling like I wasn't good enough for anyone or anything. Unfortunately having those feelings stopped me from doing a lot of cool stuff in highschool.

Don't ever let someone make you feel like you aren't strong enough to leave them, and be great without them.

Make your own happiness. Because that's the only way you can ever stay happy; when you stop relying on other people to make you feel that way.


Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Sunday, April 22, 2012


-Wake Up
-Show Choir Rehearsal
-Wake Up

That was my weekend right there. And pretty much my entire senior year now that I think about it. I don't know how I let myself get this busy, but with two jobs, two AP classes, show choir, and homework I just don't have time to do anything. I want just one day where I can honestly say I had nothing to do.
I know most of my friends feel that way this year too, we're seniors and life is just getting ridiculous. Here are some of my positive stress relieviers that I use. .
-Art projects
-Exercise (honestly, this makes me feel so much better about my life)
-Eating healthy
-Bonding with the few people in my life that are actually enjoyable <3

I used to relieve stress in really unhealthy, harmful ways that I won't get into right now, and it really had a nasty affect on my life.
Don't resort to bad habits to help you with your stress, in the end it will only make you feel more stressful and angry about your life.

I love you guys, thanks for reading my blog <3


Saturday, April 21, 2012

Art Projects

These are some art projects I've done this past year. I was in an art class last semester, and know I'm kind of doing an independent study with art. Here's some of my stuff!
This one was made of Arizona Tea cans ^ :)
I'll probably post more once I take more pictures of my artwork, but here's some of my more recent ones :)


Friday, April 20, 2012

Live Through This, And You Won't Look Back.

Amazing video, song, and artist. <3 Check out Stars if you've never heard them before :)


Never Going Back Again

There's a reason that your ex is your ex. This isn't true in every single situation, but most of the time it's better to stay exes. You have your whole life of dating ahead of you. Maybe being stuck in a rut with one guy for too long is really going to damage and break you. Whoever you are, you are so beautiful that settling just isn 't an option for you.
This post is particularly for a few friends of mine, but it does apply to everyone. Take it from someone who knows, going back to someone who left, cheated, made your life hell, or you had a good reason to break up with is always a bad idea. If they've done it once, they sure as hell will do it again.
You are better than that. You always were, and you always will be. Don't. Settle.
I am personally not dating right now at all, but I think the most helpful thing to do in a situation like this is to take a break from dating, to evaluate what you truly want and need, be constructive, and raise your standards. Being single can be the most glorious thing ever, don't look at it as a bad thing.

Monday, April 2, 2012

My New Celebrity Crush.

I don't post stuff like this very often, but this guy is just stunning....

Isn't he lovely?
He's the new character on Glee right now, and I just can't get enough of him <3



I complain a lot. I'm not going to get around that or deny it, it's true. But sometimes I talk to a friend or see a situation so much worse than anything that's going on in my life, and it really gets me to stop and think.
I have so much to be grateful for, so much to live for and so much to be.
That's not something to take for granted.
*both of my amazing parents
*7 healthy siblings
*my education
*the ability to go off to college in the fall
*the best friend I could have ever asked for
*my faith
The list is endless, but these are the things in my life that I am most grateful for.
If you ever find yourself feeling like I do, just remember that there is always something. Always. Even if you can't make a list like this, just think of one thing that is worth living for. One thing.
Since I'm on spring break right now, blogging is hopefully going to happen every day :) I've missed it <3