Thursday, April 26, 2012

Happiness Is A Warm Gun

You left.
You made me hate myself.
You continue to make me hate myself.
You treat my feelings like they don't exist.
You ignore me.
You ignore the two years we spent together.
You do continuous heart-twisting things that make me want to jump off of a bridge.
You have showed me over and over again, that you don't really love me.
You lied.
You toy with my emotions.
Yet through all of this, I would love nothing more to be yours again.
Someone explain that logic to me, because I don't get it. How can I still love you more than anything. How can I still have dreams about you, every night? How can I still even consider taking you back? After all you have done?

My brain: Don't do this to yourself. You know how this ends.
My heart: This time it will be different, I know it will.
My brain: You're an idiot.
My heart: Maybe my pain is worth it. I couldn't have suffered all of this for nothing...could I?

Yes.  Maybe you did suffer this for nothing.
Hey, for all of you people reading this with a broken heart, listen. Maybe it's time to stop letting other people decide when you are happy. Especially when that person makes you feel worthless.

I sure as hell know that I spend most of my time, especially in the last two years, feeling completely worthless because of someone else. Feeling like I wasn't good enough for anyone or anything. Unfortunately having those feelings stopped me from doing a lot of cool stuff in highschool.

Don't ever let someone make you feel like you aren't strong enough to leave them, and be great without them.

Make your own happiness. Because that's the only way you can ever stay happy; when you stop relying on other people to make you feel that way.


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